And away I go...

Friday, February 18, 2005

Ok, today I got my flight information from my future employers. I'm off to the beach on Sunday. Wow.

Once again I got a flood of guilt that I'm abandoning my home. I do feel like things are a bit dreary (yes, once again my parent's marriage is falling apart, what else is new...). Then I did try and take a good hard look at myself and realized that maybe, like 'tino said, I'm patronizing my parents. Maybe they don't depend that heavily on my presence, as well they should not. Maybe I'm giving myself too much importance in their lives. Or maybe not.

My mom was a little sad. As is normal I suppose. But I feel that staying home is not what I want, it's not what I feel I need. I do love both my parents, but I just have gotten used to being more in charge of my life. To them, I'm still 18 and haven't left for school. I have to admit sometimes my behavior of that of a teenager (or infant), but the fact remains, I'm old. And so are they. Every time I leave I realize I may not see them again. And, sadly, such is life.


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