I love you but you're driving me crazy

Saturday, February 05, 2005

You know, now that I'm making plans to leave my home, I do feel a little guilty for "abandoning" my parents. Especially my mom. I feel my father is not a very good mate for her, and without a son around, she's basically on her own.

There are definitely times when they both drive me up the wall. I feel they are too old to understand me, I feel they both preach to me too much, I get so frustrated sometimes. And I feel glad I'm leaving. Then I immediately feel shitty for thinking that. Maybe it's best we don't see each other every day; that way when we do interact, it will be mostly pleasant.

I wonder if my kids will end up feeling this way about me: "Geez, I love him and all, but he drives me crazy". Will I remember and act differently with them? Will the cycle simply repeat itself? I wonder if they'll have other questions like "Why the fuck don't we have a normal family, with like a mother" or "I wish I had straight hair".

Children, I think, are the most amazing thing you can ever make. Also, with them you create the most damaging weapon that will ever exist against you. Why? Because anything that happens to them will kill you, and thus having offspring makes you more vulnerable to the arbitrary injustices of the world; and also because no one will be able to hurt you more profoundly than your little closest relatives on Earth. This is why they invented condoms.


  • At February 14, 2005 2:24 PM, Anonymous Constantino said…

    You say "I feel my father is not a very good mate for her, and without a son around, she's basically on her own." Quite patronizing towards your mom, don't you think? I don't know your folks, but experience has taught me not to pass judgements such as this about other people's relationships. Especially relationships that have lasted a fair number of years--in this case, a relationship that is older than you (I assume).

    Don't give yourself undue grief. And avoid acting towards them the same way they do towards you when they drive you crazy.

  • At February 14, 2005 11:54 PM, Blogger DramaKing said…

    You know, you do have a good point there. Sometimes I do catch myself becoming what I most criticize.

    Ironic? Naaaaaaahhhhh!




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