Confessions

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Right before I left TJ, I came out to a long-time friend of mine. I've known here since high school (over 8 years), she's a very bright girl and I think the world of her. Technically a former flame, but c'mon... haha. Why hadn't I told her before? I dunno. It was just one of those things... like one of those bells... that now and the rings...

Anyways, I told her. It was quite funny. I finally talked to her about my multi-year on-again off-again relationship that had recently ended. She asked me "Really? What's her name?". And I told her HIS name. She was a tad surprised, hehe. Anyways, to make a long story short she had a confession of her own. WOW, that's the first time I ever get a confession back. Cool.

I also wanted to tell another long-time female friend. We even got together for coffee and such. But it just didn't happen. I backed down. It was the weirdest feeling. I sure wanted to tell her... but I just never bit the bullet. At first I felt all crappy and cowardly. Then, after some thought, I realized that I didn't really want to tell her. Damn. For all the things we've been through and all we've talked about, I realized I just didn't trust her enough. Fuck. In a better world you wouldn't have to be afraid and talking about yourself wouldn't be considered a confession.

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