Phone call and 6 months

Sunday, April 24, 2005

I spoke on the phone with my ex today. It was a long and entertaining conversation. I remembered why I loved having him as a friend and companion (and not just lover). I think I've forgiven him. By this I mean I no longer hold any ill will towards him. I think he acted the way he thought was right... and even though I didn't like it, I don't feel he intended to cause the great harm he did. I feel I can forgive him now and see him more like a friend. Will I ever see him as more in the future? Geez, I don't know. It's not something I want to think about now. But at the end of our conversation, at the part where we always said "I love you"... well... there was an awkward silence. Geez, it was so weird.

For you were once that someone,
who I followed like a star...


It's been 6 months. Wow. Time passes by so quickly. It's been a rough half year, I’ll tell yaw that. It contained the single worst month of my life (so far). It sure was character forming. I think all in all it helped shape my personality in a positive way; it sure centered be a lot, made me focus and calm down a bit. I learned some strong truths about life and how patience really is a virtue (yep, they ain't just whisltin' Dixie, ya know? haha). I have to get my final AIDS test done, and hopefully, no matter what the result is, begin to put all that behind me. No, never forget. Just deal with it and put it away.

I have this thing where over the last few years I have no idea where I will spend the next summer. Last year, DC, NYC, London... the year before that, Paris, Prague, Budapest, Stockholm... the year before that, Seattle... the year before that, NYC.... the year before that, Paris, Zurich, Rome, Barcelona... (YES, I've "been around" and I like to reminisce about it... DEAL WITH IT, haha)... and now, a beach town in Mexico, ha! Will wonders never cease?


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