Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Today I had a meeting with the guy from the AIDS organization I'm volunteering with. As I walked into the office I saw that there was some sort of meeting going on. Then the guy in charge introduced me to the people in attendance, the HIV+ support group.

Yikes, I was not expecting to meet them without any warning. There they were, sitting in a small circle, about 8 or 9 people, and a psychologist. Wow, it's sad, but I think that if I had not lived what I lived, I might not have had the nerve to look them in the eye. But I did live it, and I did look at every one of them.

What they discussed broke my heart. They are low income workers and therefore rely on the organization to help pay for their medication and tests. They were discussing how some of their tests were overdue and who was in line to have the next one as soon as more money was available. Jesus Christ, I didn't know what to say, my heart just sank. I wanted to say that I'd help pay for it myself. But I didn't (honestly, that would have been kind of weird and foolish). Instead, I remembered why I was there and what my mission was.

I just feel a sorrow sometimes so deep, I can't possibly explain. Having had my own brush with HIV, having seen all I've seen in several AIDS clinics. But sorrow won't help anything or anybody. Action is what does that. And that's what I need to accomplish. Action. Change.


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