Ubiquitous sex post (finally)

Friday, June 24, 2005

Ok, the title stinks. I think next time I'll try something like "Germy takes on...casual sex!", haha.

Anyways, that will be my topic for today. Casual sex. First off, a definition: a sexual encounter with another person who you barely know and with whom you do not necessarily intend to have a lasting relationship. Ta-da!

Personally, I now have nothing against casual sex. This was not always the case. I used to think it was vile and perverse and it was due to a total lack of self respect and respect for relationships in general. I do not think so any more. I think it originates more from just being plain horny, being sexually experienced and not having a steady partner with whom to satisfy your needs. Nuff said.

I'm all for casual sex. Just under certain conditions. I think it can be perfectly safe. Another reservation I had about it was my total paranoia of catching some sexually transmitted disease; for me, they used to carry a terrible stigma, and anyone who got one was a slut-whore who was being punished. This, of course, is ridiculous. Being with somebody you don't know is obviously risky, but you can mitigate that risk by educating yourself about STD's (or STI's for you UK people). A condom is a VERY effective way to prevent STD's, especially
HIV... but ONLY if you use it properly and not while drunk or under any other influences. Granted, things are a little less romantic, but normally in that state (about to get laid) it's not THAT much of a big deal, haha.

Now, about the moral implications. Is it true that when you start treating sex in a casual way, it looses its meaning? Does it not seem special when you do it with somebody you really love? OF COURSE NOT! GEEZ! Whoever came up with that bullshit?!?!?! Of course sex is different with somebody you really care about versus a stranger, come on! We're not horses or rabbits or anything. Sex with someone you
know well and care about is A LOT better than casual sex (I mean assuming the sex is good... otherwise things can be kind of awkward). Anyways, I do not believe that satisfying your sexual needs makes sex any less special. It's like saying that eating junk food bars you from appreciating gourmet cuisine. Of course it doesn't, if anything it makes you appreciate the good stuff MORE. Let’s face it, sometimes, when the gourmet stuff isn't around, you might have a craving for some thing a little, well, less sophisticated. Catch my drift?

Do I enjoy casual sex? Well, not completely. I still have some trust issues to sort out, and I don't really enjoy sex if I don't trust the other person. Still, this hasn't completely stopped me in the past. While I was in London I had sex with a stranger for the very first time. And I had a steady boyfriend. And he wasn't in town. Yes, I was a bad Germy. But that's not even the half of it. I actually went to this sex club. Yikes! Ok, ok, it wasn't really a sex club. It was a "public sauna"/sex club. There are several in London, places that advertise themselves as saunas or bath houses, but are more like sex clubs, haha. Anyways, a friend took me there once and I was so scared I basically never got out of the Jacuzzi, haha. I mean there were some REALLY good looking guys, and when everyone is wearing just a towel, you get a LOT to look at. So on first visit, I basically did nothing (and only got a blowjob… hey! That’s technically not doing anything!). Then came our Mexican Independence day. We went to a party at the Embassy which totally rocked, and then we went to an after party at a club and THEN we finally decided to hit the sauna. I was pretty drunk so, in hindsight, that was NOT a good idea. So there we were, at this modern-looking underground place adherent to Waterloo station (it was called the Pleasuredrome, for crying out loud! Haha). It had this kind of environmental elegant thing going, lots of metal and brick and glass. Anyways, in we went. As time passed I got subsequently less drunk as I lay in the Jacuzzi and wandered the hall ways, listening to other people fornicate. And I got bored and went back downstairs to the Jacuzzi. And I was just lounging around there when all of a sudden I saw him. He had a broad back and shoulders, he had a really hairy chest and he was bald. Wow, I’m not sure why but he really turned me on. And so I chose him. It’s a hell of a lot easier to pick up a guy when you’re sure that all you want is sex. And so I took him. I’m still not too fond of going out and fucking strangers, but I have to admit that this experience was, well, really good. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days, weeks even. Anyways, when it was over, we said a quick goodbye and that was that. It was almost shocking how two people could do something so intimate and then walk away. But I sure as hell didn’t want to stay there in his arms, I didn’t even know him. And, of course, I also felt guilty. Dammit, I’d be the perfect slut if I didn’t have a conscience. But I do (so I’m not a slut, ok?!?!?!). And that was that.

I ended up telling my bf, tho. He actually took it in stride, haha, we had always discussed how honesty was what most mattered. Hmmm... no wonder our relationship fell apart... sniff, sniff.

Ok, well, what can we conclude with this? Well, first of all, casual sex is not evil. People are. As long as it’s between consenting adults (or really mature teenagers), I’m all for it. I recommend educating yourself about STD’s, to find out what is risky and what isn’t, and to make an educated decision (and taking calculated risks). And do NOT do it if you're in a committed relationship, hello. As for myself, I still don’t think it’s my thing; even though I had an “pleasurable” experience, I think the best part of fornicating is collapsing afterwards in a heap of exhaustion and falling asleep next to your partner. Saying goodbye and walking away is not that appealing to me. Nuff said.


  • At June 26, 2005 11:30 PM, Blogger psesito said…

    "He had a broad back and shoulders, he had a really hairy chest and he was bald."

    mhmh.... good choice. What am I saying? I don't know. I think that if the people involved in a relationship/casual-sex/or-whatever are aware of the consequences of their acts, they can go ahead and do whatever they want if that won't make a conflict with anyone else. Ignorance is one of the main basis of vain judgements. Get rid of the ignorance!


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