Tuesday, August 09, 2005

When do you known you've forgiven someone? When you no longer look back in anger? When memories cause you no more pain?

So what if you forgive... how can you ever forget? Once bitten- forever shy?

I remember saying a while back I had forgiven my ex-bf... well, that was a big fat lie. It still hurts sometimes; I still look back in anger. Memory can be such a curse. I had a rather pragmatic upbringing; if someone betrayed or hurt you, they automatically lost your trust forever, there was no going back and no forgiving.

Ok, this was a somewhat judgmental and extreme posture... but it sure kept you from being hurt... from the same person at least. Growing up I realized that people honestly screw up sometimes, so being severe on them is not always the fair thing to do.

I know this feeling, I recognize it like an old friend I hadn't seen in a while, but who I instantly recognize. It comes from a place inside, a place so dark I try very hard not to find it. But it just comes out sometimes, like a hungry lion escaped from its cage. I know it will pass, someday. Just not today.


  • At August 09, 2005 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future"

    -Bernard Meltzer-


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