Germy’s jihad against Islam

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Ok, so as to not offend too many people (who might be exteremists), I will now talk about Islam without mentioning to following terms:

"Terrorist", "terrorist threat", "bomb", "terrorist bomb", "terrorist bomber", "nuke", "dirty bomb", "crazy", "fanatic", "crazy fanatic", "looney", "wife-beater", "misongynist", "nutcase", "extremist", "nutcase extremist", "sexually frustrated", "Saddam", "9/11", "Al Qaeda".

Oops... I think I've been pretty much left speechless about Islam now...

HAHA... ok, ok, that was a joke. Germy isn't that mean.

I think recently Islam has become one of the most misunderstood religions in the world. Americans (and a lot of other Western countries) seem to associate it with terrorism, bombs and totalitarian states. In fact, Islam is supposed to be founded in the ideas of peace, submission and love. Well, you had ME fooled.

Well, it must be founded in tough love, dude, 'cause the Islamic states have some pretty spooky stuff going on. Islamic states (like Egypt and Iran and the lot) I think are mostly responsible for Islam’s bad publicity. They tend to be very rigid and unforgiving governments. They are EXTREMELY homophobic (some even execute “sodomites”) and are generally headed by people who just look really mean and ugly. Where are the publicists and fashion consultants when you need them? Can’t all that oil buy you a good PR firm?

Something many people allude to, especially British writer Salman Rushdie, is the fact that Muslim states don’t take criticism very well. Actually, because they take it VERY BADLY. This is actually frightening. Imagine if all Christians condemned to death every one who had spoken against Jesus or God? There wouldn’t’ be much people left in LA or NYC. We wouldn’t have books like “Barabbas” or films like “The last temptation of Christ”. Their creators would have been murdered. Nasty, huh?

And talk about being all macho and stuff. Women usually have to cover up their entire bodies so they won't unnecessarily make men have naughty thoughts. OH PLEASE! That's such a huge load of bullshit. If you can't control yourself, it's not women's fault.

In all fairness, since there is no central priestly hierarchy in Islam (there are no priests), whatever one crazy fanatic says can be interpreted as what all of Islam says. This is not true. When issuing a fatwa, not all Muslims are obligated to carry it out, and other religious scholars can even issue contradictory fatwas. The confusion caused by this seemingly free-spirited religious structure is, in my opinion, a big reason why Islam has such a bad rap in the West. Still, it’s not like it should change just for the West to embrace it. Rather, the West should change and understand Islam…. But, please, like THAT’S gonna happen.

But here's the kicker... Islam (and the Qur'an) actually has it's roots in the Old Testament. So Muslims are all related to Christians, theologically speaking. Hmmmm.... seeing as you also have Christian fanatics blowing up abortion clinics and gay bars, it sort of makes perfect sense now to see that both religions really aren't all that different to begin with... KIDDING! KIDING!

I guess in this sense Islam also gets a bad rap. Just because some crazy-head Christians go and kill abortionists doesn't label all Christians crazy fanatics. But you have a few Muslim extremists and you label a third of the planet's population as nutzoid. Tough world, huh? I guess this has a lot to do with ignorance (like all forms of religious intolerance). Most Westerners are familiar with Christianity but often know very little about Islam. And the images you see from Islamic states aren't very encouraging.

Well, in conclusion, I say Islam has a huge PR problem. They really need to clean up their act and create some sort of centralized clergy so that it can act as a totalitarian force and gain ever more power and begin to meddle into the political life of all Muslim states and whose greed and control-freakiness will some day cause a separation from the church and create two parallel but different forms of their religion that will both slowly die into secularism as the people in the religious states grow more educated and independent... yes this is definitely what they should do; it's the Christian way!!!

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