Germy's resume DO's and please please please DON NOT's!

Monday, September 12, 2005

After my boss rejected BOTH candidates my gringa friend and I had screened last week, I've decided to help out those looking for jobs. And man, there are people who send LAME-ASS resumes, geez. I mean READ THEM at least guys. I know (at least CS guys) are supposed to be geeks and writing is not their strong point, but COME ON, your job might depend on this very document. Here are some tippers, direct from professional technical recruiter, Germy.

What to include
Ok, this is the stuff that needs to go in there. Do not exclude this, or else you'll look like a foo'.
Put DATES of when you were working or when you were studying. Not putting dates makes people suspicious and think you’re hiding something.

I really do have to stress something to anybody still in university: GET SOME WORK EXPERIENCE! I did and internship and a project OUTSIDE of school and they have helped me INMENSELY in getting a job once out of school. I appreciate it even more now that I've had to look at resumes full of only school projects and shit. Come on! Outside stuff shows interest and passion. That's what you want in a candidate. You want him doing this stuff outside of school, when he doesn't have to. It will be a definite plus.

What to leave out
Do us all a favor and try to eliminate jobs that have NOTHING to do with the position your applying for. SERIOUSLY. Like the boy scouts, fixing plumbing, sweeping, etc. Including random shit means you have NOTHING to say and that you just want to take up space with worthless information. Your stock goes down with the recruiter.

This also stresses another point... if you're fresh out of college, PLEASE make your resume ONE PAGE ONLY. Yes, one. Uno. Eins. 1. ONE! I'm sick of seeing people looking for their first job ever and handing-in fucking 3 page resumes! Come on! Strictly speaking, a Curriculum Vitae does have a lot of information, and that's what a resume is called in Mexico. But this is shit. Anybody who hires you on the length of your resume and not on your skills deserves to hire a loser.

My gringa pal always has a good laugh when seeing Mexican resumes. They usually have pictures, birthdays, marital status, height, weight, age, etc, etc, etc.. things that are all EXTREMELY ILLEGAL to ask in the USA when recruiting. Like I said, in Mexico the custom is to use Curriculum Viate's, which is why some of these archaic facts are included in resumes. Still, they're ridiculous. Who the hell puts a photo on their resume?? I can understand if you want to be an actor, model, anchor, stripper, etc... but for an office job? PLEASE!

On cover letters... well, if you’re good at writing and can genuinely put interesting stuff in there, go ahead. If you’re going to put in a generic mish-mash of stuff that will help someone in NO WAY to come to a decision, please, save your energy. Don’t repeat as much as highlight the stuff in your resume that is RELEVANT to the position you’re applying for. A personalized cover letter for a company and a specific position is indeed a plus. Only changing the name and position on a generic cover letter will get you nowhere... well, maybe to the trash bin.

My boss sent out a few questions about past experience, technologies and salary expectations. Almost NOBODY answered them. COME ON! If you're going to apply for a job, send them ALL the information they ask for. All these losers did was show us how un-interested they were in the position. And those who did answer them... GEEZ! Most programmers’ writing skills suck. Most of them write a lot and end up failing to answer the fucking question. Give me a break. People, programmers and all, learn how to make concise sentences! It's called fourth grade grammar! Learn it! Writing is a very important job for a developer; you have to come up with documentation that should be understandable and easy on the eyes. This skill is a HUGE advantage over the rest of the pack.

Sending it out
I hate the poor boobs who just send in their resume because the job somehow remotely resembles something they might in another lifetime be able to get fired at after one day. I actually respect these types, I've been there. But it just shows me how useless this technique is. A tip: don't waste your time, or anybody else's. Send your resume only to positions where you think you're a good match. If you match a lot, good for you. If you don't, forget it. You might be sending all your irrelevant resumes to the same recruiter, and he (i.e. ME) will not really give you much consideration for a position in which you really fit into if you've given him the impression you're just desperate for anything you can get your hands on (especially if this really is the case). Be prudent and wise.

Today’s edition of the Germy Show was sponsored in part by the letter G (for Germy!... and gay… and guy... and guppy... and gorgeous... and goofy... and glory... and glory hole... ), the letter R (for resume, relevant, righteous and r-excellent), and the number 26 and 25 (the day of my B-day and the age I will tell nobody I turned).

Thanks for watching! Good night and good luck.


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