Internet baby UPDATE

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Ok, here's the lowdown on the kid who was BORN in one of the internet cafés. The mother and father were on their way to the hospital at 5am and the wife REALLY needed to go to the bathroom and so headed to the damn Internet café (brilliant idea). For the record, the mother is 26 yrs old and this was here 6th (yes, SIXTH) child. Geez... contraceptives, anyone? Oh, nooooo, that's EVIL and perverted...

Anyaywas, she decides to have the kid right then and there and pulls down her denim shorts and out comes a bunch of blood, amniotic fluid and (according to sources) fecal matter. Yuck. She had the kid squatting (supposedly a more natural position than on your back, because you have gravity on your side and so you don't have to push as much), right next to the counter. Yuck.

The kid was born OK, but he was still attached to his mum by the umbilical cord, until the paramedics arrived to cut it. Yuck. Sources say they were pretty inept and nervous to boot. Anyways, thank goodness, the mum is at home, and all is well. Her son, Excel 2005, is doing well too. He also has, seriously, free Internet for life.

Indeed, what a world.

P.S. It SUCKS to be a woman. Jesus Christ.

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