Germy takes on...Orgasms!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Ok, it's time for another ubiquitous sex post. Woo-hoo... haha. Yes, I'm horny and I want to talk about sex, again... but more specifically, orgasms.

Ahhh... the male orgasm. What a beautiful thing it is. Sure, women are supposed to "feel the Earth move" and shit, but c'mon, this is what guys do. This is what we're born for. This is what God made us to feel. Hallelujah!

An orgasm is a very pleasurable experience. It has to be. The species needs to be encouraged to have sex so as to reproduce and "evolve". How to describe it? How to speak of the feeling? I don't know. Words fail me. How to explain that chill up your spine, the tensing of your muscles that suddenly release into complete relaxation. It’s bliss. The whole process is like climbing a mountain. When you finally see yourself reaching the top you start going faster and faster and faster, you can almost feel the glorious air and the cool breeze at the top. You start running, aching to reach the top. And when you finally get there, you actually go over the edge and, for a few brief moments, you're in complete freefall. And it's wonderful. Wow.

Also, it gets the blood flowing and is good for your heart. What more could you ask for??? Haha.

Do you remember the first time you used your pipes? I sure as hell do. It was with a friend of mine, haha. We were, umm, "wrestling". HAHA. I was like 12 or 13, and I swear I thought I had peed my pants. But it was a REALLY REALLY good pee, haha. I remember lying on the floor having no idea what the hell had just happened, but I was a silent heap of ecstasy. Imagine my joy when I found out I could do this by myself, sans wrestling partner... wow.

How to explain the urge? It's so... basic. It's so... powerful. It just comes along. It starts out small; a spark of lust, a pinch of sensuality silently begins to stir. Then the hurricane comes. A tide of horniness engulfs you. Your mind immediately whirls out of control and you concentrate on one thing and one thing only: liberation. This feeling inside must be let out, exorcised, freed. A very basic need must be satisfied. And when it's over you feel all the more powerful for it, the wheels of life have turned and you were their axis. This is what we were made to do. And it feels good.

Even though orgasms are indeed great, and Germy is 100% pro-orgasms, I also recognize that there are times when you should not have one. Yes, I know, it sounds contradictory, but please read on.

Having an orgasm when you're sick is NOT always a good idea. When you're being attacked by a cold or flu virus, for example, and your defenses are down, I so do NOT recommend it (at least from personal experience). Apparently having an orgasm takes up a lot of energy, and when I've had one while I was sick, I just felt worse afterwards. Yuck. So when you're feeling a little under the weather, you might want to "curb your enthusiasm".

Doing it on an empty stomach is also not recommended. I almost passed out once. It was noon and I hadn't had any breakfast. Me and my bf decided to, umm, well, take a shower together. Kinky details aside, I "climaxed" in mid-shower and suddenly started seeing everything black! I was passing out! I had to go out into the fresh air and lie down for a sec. Sure, the moment felt great, but when your keens start to buckle and it all starts to fade to black, it's not so cool.

I remember having one during my first hang over (after the first time I ever got drunk... it was just me, my bf, a bottle of tequila, lemons, salt and Alanis on the CD player...haha, now those are good memories, haha). Anyways, when Germy's hung-over he gets these nasty migraines, and the morning after that first drunken evening was NO exception. My fist full blown hangover was HORRIBLE. Anyways, this did not stop me from gettin' jiggy with my bf, but right when I "finished", the pain from my migraine shot all over my head, YEOW! THAT HURT! Bad idea, bad idea!

Ok, ok, wait a sec, I'm drifting off topic. This post wasn't about me and my weird-ass sex stories. It was about... ummm... oh, yeah, orgasms, haha. So, in conclusion I say orgasms are good. They stimulate blood-flow, they exercise the old heart, they feel genuinely wonderful and they are certainly a perfect way to reach a little bit of heaven here on earth. Yes, there are times when they are not such a good idea, but these are a minority of cases. Having them alone is great. Having them in the company of at least one other person is fantastic. So here's to getting off! Germy salutes you!

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