Reflections for a New Year/Merry merry

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Yeap, X-Mas came and went. So did New Years Eve. Big deal. Ba-humbug. Germy-Grinch was up to no good. So was Germy-New-Years-Grinch, haha. Ok, just kidding. These dates aren't really all that special to me anymore. It's really about the people I get to see.

First off my brother. What a cool guy. Yes, I can so sometimes see through his cool demeanor and all, but he's still so great it doesn't matter. We all went to ask for his fianc├ęs hand in marriage. Oh boy. That was interesting. It was a formal dinner and everything. What I thought was going to be a really corny and sticky-sweet affair was exactly that, only I walked away being touched rather than annoyed. It was in no way us really asking for the other family's approval of the marriage, but rather a chance for each family to get to know each other a little and, more importantly, to gain a little piece of mind as to exactly what their kin was getting themselves into. There was hardly a dry eye in the house. I was not one of them, but I certainly came close. They were all tears of joy, of course; but also, they were tears of sorrow; tears that told of the sadness that one of your own is off to start his or her own family unit and that they will never again occupy the same space they did in your family, ever again. And such is life.

Seeing my parents is always fun. For like a day or two. Seeing my mom alone is better. My dad is a complicated story. Seeing him shed tears of sorrow and joy at the "asking-for-hand" business was somewhat scary, but quite tender and touching also. My parents actually (behaved most of the time) and it was cool. I love them, even if they do drive me crazy. I decided not to come out to my dad. I dunno, I just felt pressured by my brother and was not comfortable with me making the decision on my own terms. And I chickened out. So much for me being a coming-out activist. What a crock.

Seeing "the ex" was nice too. Fucking with him was even better. Holding him (and having him hold me) and just talking in bed was the best. We did it in my house, in his, in a motel; like I said, fun, fun, fun, hahaha. And I was only in town for 4 days, haha. I actually ended up spraining my neck, ouch. I won't go into the details, but fucking with a neck injury can be very therapeutic, haha. I know, it seems like we're fuck-buddies now. But things couldn't be farther from the truth. A fuck-buddy doesn't make you happy or make you laugh, or make you fondly remember earlier times of laughter and happiness; a fuck-buddy doesn't hold you after you're done; a fuck-buddy doesn't let you have your way with him whenever your heart desires. And that's why in my heart "the ex" will be always be The Guy. "You'll always be mine, always and never. Never."

Seeing my extended family is always a joy. They're so crazy and funny and silly and funny and insane and funny and raunchy and funny and vulgar and funny and, well, you get the picture. They're totally people I would NEVER be friends with or maybe even talk to if we weren't related... and that makes me happy in a way. I get to see more of the human spectrum, I get to share moments with them and my faith and trust in the human race is renewed (albeit scarcely, but still, it's progress). Here's to family!

Well, I'm back in town and with a TON of work to do. The deadline for our latest release has been pulled back so we now have like 2 weeks LESS, whoop-de-frikicn-doo, and they two new developers require constant attention (and scolding). They're actually nice guys. It'll be fun telling them I'm gay, haha. I think I'll do it casually, and then see the look on their faces. I love my job. Cheers to all.

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