Why I LOVE my mommy

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

My mom's car got crashed yesterday while she was driving in downtonw. No, it wasn't serious or anything, just a nasty scratch on one side of the car. Anyways, the woman who crashed into my mom had absolutely NO idea who she was dealing with. Read on.

Right after hitting my mom, the woman made an obscene gesture and fled the scene. Yes, she crashed into a 60 year old woman's car while said woman woman was alone inside and fled. What a bitch. There are seriously no more morals in society.

Needless to say, it was a big mistake. My mom sped up and followed her and when they reached a red light, my mom got out of her car (in the middle of downtown!) and started screaming her head off to this woman. The bitch still made obscene gestures and ignored her. Another big mistake.

My mom continued to follow her in her car all over downtown and was determined to nail her ass on to the wall. She said the woman sped up to try to loose her, but my mom sped up just as fast and was like 20cm from her car the whole time.

Finally the woman pulled into a private parking lot and my mom parked right in front of her car so she would not be able to get away. When the poor woman got out she met a tsunami of rage and screaming (I've seen it in the past and shudder at the memory). At first the bitch insisted it was my mom's fault (another HUGE mistake, it only fed the flames), but suddenly her cocky confidence quickly faded when my mom started threatening to call the police and have her ass thrown in jail for fleeing the scene. My mom made up that my dad was some hot-shot lawyer and that she'd have the woman put in the slammer without a hearing or anything. The stupid bitch finally apologized and pleaded with my mom to not call the cops, she said she'd pay the damages. At this point the people from her job started noticing the commotion. The security guard and manager of the store tried calming my mother down, to not much avail.

My mom made the woman sign a confession and made the manager and security guard sign as witnesses and took a photocopy of the woman's driver's license. Hoo-ray for my mommy. What was the best part? The woman was so fucking scared my mom had to dictate the confession letter to her. The second best part? After my mom agreed not to call the police and got the letter and license, she went straight to the police department and turned the bitch in. That's why I LOVE my mom. Yes, I'm scared of her, but I LOVE her and I'm GLAD she's on my side.

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